


Where My Love Lies Waiting

by Riprap



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1930s, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, One Shot, POV Bucky Barnes, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:13:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riprap/pseuds/Riprap
Summary: A perceptive date finally gives Bucky the nudge he needs to confess his feelings to Steve.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 17
Kudos: 108





	Where My Love Lies Waiting

Bucky thought the date had gone well. They’d gone dancing, and if Emily’s laugh was any indication, she’d had a good time. Seeing how it was the third date, he didn’t think a goodnight kiss was out of the question, so he was surprised when Emily put a firm hand on his chest and shook her head.

“Bucky, I’ve had fun going out with you. You’re a great guy, but you’re not really interested in me.” 

He’d started to protest before she interrupted him.

“I’m not insulted or anything. It’s just...I think….you’re loving someone else already.”

“I don’t know what you’re--”

Before he could get the words out, she hugged him close and whispered. “Go home, Bucky. That’s where your heart is.”

He watched her fly up the steps and disappear through the door. He stood for a moment, feeling naked, exposed, like suddenly everyone could see inside his ribs. 

She was right, of course. He was already loving someone else, but he thought he was better at hiding it. He had tried not to talk about Steve too much, tried not to tell the stories he thought of, share the things Steve said. He sighed. Every date got harder. He wanted to be laughing with Steve, dancing with Steve, holding Steve’s hand. And he missed Steve.

Bucky had spent more time out of the apartment than in lately, since the night he got home from a particularly long day and wrapped Steve in a hug before he knew what he was doing. Steve had stiffened a little. “What’s this about?”

Bucky turned the embrace into an awkward side hug. “What, I need an excuse to hug my best friend?”

Steve shook his head. ‘Whatever you say, Buck.”

He took the stairs slowly when he got to the apartment. He let himself in quietly, hung up his coat. Steve was sitting on the sofa in the living room with the lights off, a glass in his hand and a bottle in front of him.

Bucky wanted to put his head in Steve’s lap, feel the fingers that held the glass run through his hair. He wanted to ask Steve’s forgiveness for loving him so much, ask for permission to keep loving him that much.

“Hey,” he said finally. Steve jumped at the sound of his voice.

“I didn't hear you come in,” he said.

“Tried to be quiet. I wasn’t sure you’d still be awake,” Bucky said as he sat down on the sofa. “What are you doing?”

“Drinking," said Steve, as he filed a glass and handed it to Bucky. 

Bucky sighed. “Alone? In the dark?” 

“Light hurts my eyes,” Steve said. 

“You shoulda come with us.”

“As the tag-a-long? No thanks.”

“We saw Jeanie at the dance hall. Remember her?”

Jeanie was the friend Emily had talked into a double date earlier that month. Steve nodded.

“Well, she was asking about you. You should call her.”

“Yeah, ok.” They both knew Steve wasn’t going to call. He took a sip of the amber liquid in his glass. 

“Why do you only drink at home?” Bucky asked him. “You hardly ever drink when we’re out.”

“Money.” Steve’s answer was short and distant.

“You know I’ve always got you, if you want.”

“Why would I want you to pay for me?” Steve said. “I’m not your date.”

His heart hammered in his chest as he tried to keep his face smooth. “You know...to have fun. Being a little tipsy is fun sometimes.”

“Those dates aren’t usually much fun for me, drinks or not,” Steve said quietly. Truth be told, the double dates weren’t much fun for Bucky, either. He spent most of the time pretending Steve was his date. Sometimes, he imagined it so well, he sort of forgot the girls were even there.

"How was your date, anyway?” Steve asked.

“Ah, you know,” he shrugged.

“No, I don’t know.” Steve’s voice had an edge to it. “How would I know?”

Bucky winced. “It wasn’t so good. She said she liked me but thought I was interested in someone else.”

“Are you?” Steve asked. “Interested in someone else?”

“Yeah, I am. Have been for a while.” Damn it. Why had he said that? He was suddenly uneasy about where this conversation was going.

“So who is it?” Steve asked.

“Uh...not someone you’d know, I don’t think.” Bucky downed the rest of his drink. He needed to get out of there before he said something that ruined everything. “I’m going to head off to bed.”

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me,” Steve said. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s just. It’s someone I shouldn’t be interested in.”

“I know about that.”

Steve looked like he was trying to read his mind, and Bucky thought he saw the glimmer of a familiar feeling--a gentle longing, a distant wanting. He put that thought out of his head. He was just imagining things, seeing what he wanted to see.

“I’ll tell you a secret,’ Steve finally said. “If I have a drink right when you get home, then I smell whiskey instead of the perfume on you. That way I don’t get as jealous.”

“Steve, you could go on plenty of dates if you just--”

“I’m not jealous of you being out with them. I’m jealous of them being out with you."

Bucky blinked. Did Steve realize what he’d just said? Maybe Steve had just noticed that Bucky had been distant lately.

"It has been a while since we did something together, just the two of us," Bucky said.

“That’s not what I mean.” Steve ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. Even though he couldn’t see it, Bucky could feel the blush that accompanied that gesture. 

“What do you mean, then?” he asked. He was being a coward. He silently pleaded with Steve to say it first, so he could be sure. 

“It's nothing,” Steve finally said as he got up to leave.

Bucky grabbed his arm.

“Wait.” He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “I think I know what you mean. Or I know what I want you to mean.”

“Buck, you aren’t making any sense. Just forget I ever said--”

“I think about you all the time,” Bucky said in a rush. “The look on your face when you can’t get your drawing the exact way you want it. How you keep your smile to yourself. The way you relax when you walk back into the apartment. I always pretended that had something to do with me, that coming home to me made you happy.”

Bucky gave his arm a squeeze before letting his hand drop. It was out there now, thick and swirling between them. Bucky saw the glint of the streetlight in Steve’s eyes, but couldn’t read anything on his face. They were both quiet for what seemed like ages.

“Coming home to you does make me happy,” Steve almost whispered. 

“What?”

“You make me happy.” 

Bucky shook his head. “That’s not what you’re supposed to say. You’re supposed to tell me I’m crazy and to forget it and we can go back to….”

“To what? To you going out with a different girl every week, wishing it was me? To me drinking in the dark wishing you were home? Or better yet, going on a double date and wishing the girls weren’t there at all?” Steve said.

He put his hand lightly on Bucky’s cheek and barely brushed his thumb across his lips. “I’m tired of that, Bucky.”

Bucky nodded. “So what do we do?”

“Kiss me?” said Steve.

Bucky pulled Steve’s face down to meet his and pressed their lips together cautiously. Steve leaned into him and they were kissing like a wave crashing on the sand. Steve’s hands were in his hair and his lips were soft and cool and Bucky felt like he had finally found the home he didn’t know he had been missing. 

Steve started to pull away and Bucky pulled him onto his lap instead, feeling his smile against his mouth as Bucky dared to run his tongue against his lips. Steve opened his mouth to him, and as the kiss deepened, he felt a barrier slip away from him. Steve was alive and present, eager, available in a new way. Bucky wanted to touch every part of him, know all of him, all the secret places he loved to be touched, all the ways he could make Steve feel as good as he felt in that moment.

When they finally broke apart, Bucky buried his face in Steve’s neck. Steve combed his fingers through his hair.

“Wow,” Steve finally said.

“Yeah. Wow,” Bucky replied and giggled.

“Can we do that some more?”

“I got no other place to be and no one else I want to be with,” Bucky said as he tightened his grip on Steve's waist.

“I’m glad I waited up,” Steve whispered.

Bucky smiled. "I'm glad I'm finally home."

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you see a scene so clearly in your head and when you write it, it suddenly looks like mud. Maybe it's ok? Nervous about this one.
> 
> Title is from "Homeward Bound" by Simon and Garfunkel
> 
> Thanks for reading, leaving kudos and making comments! XO


End file.
